I have been travelling throughout North America over the course of the last two years and have found some very interesting patterns in the youth hockey World, some of these I would like to share with you.

I was talking with the President of Hockey Calgary a couple of weeks ago and as always in a huge organization there are many issues. The pattern of these issues is quite disheartening and is not something new, but something old. He gave me a book called Game On written by Tom Farrey. This book goes through the development of young athletes in all sports. The theory or rather evidence is that we as parents have taken over and control our kids development. We have structured everything in all sports, the days of playing in the yard or street with all of the other kids and learning social skills and how to develop the attributes of a athlete have been and are being dictated by adults. My own skill development and social skills as a kid were a result of playing ball hockey everyday with the kids on the block. How to pick fair teams, how to encourage the younger ones or less skilled as well as work on and emulate the role models I had picked were all a direct result of being able to experience it myself. There was no coach or parents in the yards screaming shoot the puck, keep you stick down or work harder. I developed what I needed by my own trial and error. In his book Tom Farrey talks about all of the great players in sport and how they acquired their skills were by playing on the sand lots, back yards and desolate streets of poverty. Some of his examples are hard to swallow but when you think about it, so TRUE.

The young athletes of today are stressed, they have worry and fear. They are constantly being pushed to perform at a Pro level and many lose the drive or passion for the game at an early age because there is no FUN involved. When I teach my classes to the apsiring youth in particular the goals session, I talk about what are your goals, what is it they want to do. I have seen the results and have found that a lot of what they want is what is being dictated to them. Parents and coaches always wonder why can't he perform better, why isn't he motivated? The answer is simple, it is not what they want. We have seen what happens when our children want to accomplish or attain something, they are like bulldogs not stopping until they have it and yet when after the game on the ride home the conversation is why didn't you do this or what's wrong with you, they are scared to tell the truth, becasue they do not want to disappoint. All they want is unconditional love and we as parents tend to get caught up in the rewards of hard work and the punishment for lack of effort.

If you really want to help them find their passion then we have to start to ask the question, "did you have fun today? what did you learn? do you have any questions I can help you with?" It is their journey and even though we foot the bill for it, that is our responsibility as parents. If they are to become a professional athlete or achieve an academic scholarship they will! With your love and support they can do anything they set their minds to, but it has to be in their minds not yours.

So on the next ride home when you catch yourself about to start in, bite your tongue and simply ask, "Did you have fun today?"